We are undoubtedly our own harshest critics.
Whether missing the mark by an inch or a mile, we scold ourselves up and continue the negative internal narrative long past the effects of the transgression. We are intimately aware of our faults and are more than willing to condemn and disqualify ourselves as a result of them. Often times we experience a but a shadow of true existence, instead carrying with us tremendous guilt that self-regulates the joy and vibrancy we can experience.
In all, this destructive loop effectively self-limits our capacity to love others and exercise the fullness of our abilities. So where do we draw the line? Where is the balance between holding ourselves accountable and allowing for forgiveness?
“My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.
And friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re bold and free before God!”
Our self-sabotage is nothing new, and has been faced by humanity for millennia. John here is telling us to let the harsh judgment on ourselves go "even when there is something to it." Surely we understand we are flawed, but we cannot allow that to be the whole of our story. Vice remaining in a stasis generated by self-doubt we must press forward if we are to impart the fullness of what we were designed to achieve.
It is often most difficult to forgive ourselves because we feel we understand not only the act but our motivations as well. Consequently, we find it easier to forgive someone else as we can assign a level of innocence to their actions. We must overcome this double standard and leave room for ourselves to experience mercy. For mercy is a matter of love, not worthiness.
What have you been holding over yourself? I urge you to recognize your mistake, hand it over to God, and allow yourself mercy. Life is fleeting and you were designed for so much more.
-the contrary disciple