I don’t want to impose.
In fact I would prefer not to ask for any personal favors or special considerations.
For the last thing I want to be is a burden to those around me. My preference instead would be to navigate through life void of needing anyone’s assistance. I simply don’t want to feel encumbered by, or indebted to, others. Conversely, I am completely comfortable lending help. I find that investing in their lives brings me purpose and joy I could never achieve otherwise.
Basically, I wish to give to others, but I don’t want anyone to give to me.
And when I break it down that simply, I start to recognize the absurdity of my position. For making yourself a check-valve for help not only limits your potential but also cuts those around you off from opportunities for fulfillment. We are social creatures and were never designed to navigate solo. We can make do, but to truly grow we must both help AND be helped.
“So if you consider me a comrad-in-arms, welcome him back as you would me. If he damaged anything, chalk it up to my account. This is my personal signature - Paul - and I stand behind it. (I don’t need to remind you, do I, that you owe your very life to me?) Do me this big favor, friend. You’ll be doing it for Christ, but it will also do my heart good.”
In the example above, Paul is both doing and asking for a favor. He is doing a favor by representing someone who couldn’t otherwise restore their station, and he is asking for a favor in requesting that person’s forgiveness. Note that he doesn’t over-qualify his request, but boldly asks for what he knows is needed. And it’s a big ask, but he also takes on part of the burden (asking that any damages go to his personal account).
On numerous occasions I have lacked the courage to ask a favor. I am uncomfortable taking the risk to ask, and so my need (or the need of who I might be representing) goes unasked, and therefore unfulfilled. The thought of asking simply appears slimy to me so I find ways to avoid it.
Paul, however, understood that we would need to both do and ask for favors.
People want to help us, but we need to ask them. Moreso people need us to stand up on their behalf when they don’t have the voice or access required. I pray for more courage to step forth and make the ask. To forego my own comfort for the sake of others and myself.