Seven seconds is all we have for a first impression.
In that short period of time, we are both judged and judge.
We consciously and subconsciously assess a myriad of verbal and nonverbal cues that dictate whether or not we buy in. Given our already full lives, our default is often biased to the negative side (we trend towards invalidation so we can disregard and move on).
For example, think about a time you heard a speaker who struggled. You were likely so distracted by their communication difficulties that their command of the issue was lost in their inability to express it. Conversely, we have all experienced someone who failed to possess the necessary background to speak intelligently on the matter. While they may have executed all the right pauses and hand gestures, their lack of depth resulted in us checking out as well.
The lesson is that both who we are AND how we present ourselves matters. The two in tandem have a direct impact on people’s willingness to listen to what we have to say. For whether or not we are aware of it, the daily life we lead is either growing or shrinking our influence.
“But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane. Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around.”
Might eventually come around. Those aren’t the most hopeful words, but they certainly manage expectations. There is no promise here that people will definitely come around and be changed, just that it remains a possibility. And maybe that is the best we can hope for: keeping the opportunity alive; avoiding the invalidation of our ideals and beliefs.
So as you go through today, I challenge you you to expand your aperture. Think about how you are presenting yourself and what you are saying from the perspective of those around you. I know I certainly have room for growth if I want my influence to survive first contact.