We have some of the best intentions.
Intentions to to truly better ourselves, turn over new leafs, and cast off the self-destructive actions that have held us back. Just thinking about these changes renews our spirits and swells us with pride and enthusiasm… at least for the moment.
However, as time begins to creep by, our resolution begins to waver. In some instances our resolve is but fleeting and in a few minutes we find ourselves again doing that which we sought to avoid. Other times day and even weeks pass before we begin to slide. But all the same we return to our past transgressions, regardless of how self-destructive we know them to be. It is as if our very being can’t help but return to that which we were so determined to leave behind.
“What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.
But I need something more! For I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway.”
The revelation is not that we are flawed. For we have all arrived at the conclusion both individually and collectively. Rather that we can not succeed in our endeavors to change alone. That we require both truth and external support to overcome and institute lasting change in ourselves.
The process begins by releasing our errantly placed frustration in our inability to overcome the adversity itself, and focusing instead on our flawed process and safeguards. We alone are incapable of overcoming (we have all amassed more than enough individual evidence to support this) so we must discard this vain effort. We must instead reach out. For we are fundamentally communal beings, and it is community not isolation that gives us our true strength and allow us to tap into the collective reserve.
We can continue to promise ourselves we will change in private, but we have all experienced the absence of efficacy that approach yields. Until we relinquish control and immerse ourselves into community, our efforts will remain futile. Maybe it is time to attempt a new method… it certainly couldn’t hurt.