Human beings crave feedback.
Be it in our careers, relationships, or even leisure activities, we long to know where we stand. Just think of the endless ways we keep score and subconsciously manifest hierarchies. We want to know where we are meeting the mark, where we have gone beyond it, and especially where we are coming up short. When in place, this mechanism both reinforces positive behaviors and initiates corrective actions.
Yet, despite our longing for, and understanding of, positive effects we seldom provide others with the honest feedback necessary for change. We may point out things here and there, or even attempt to stop someone from going down a completely destructive path, but we rarely provide regular feedback designed to help our friends move from good to great. Solomon highlights the value of feedback in Proverbs 27:
“A spoken reprimand is better than approval that’s never expressed.”
Solomon takes the argument to the logical extreme by highlighting that a reprimand is ultimately preferable to unrecognized approval. Have you found this to be the case in your own life? I can say that in my career, the leadership I have appreciated the most came from those who took the time to provide actionable feedback. Be it positive or negative, understanding where I stood and how I could better meet their intent was refreshing. The results of my actions were no longer nebulous and for a moment I was free of this increasingly ambiguous world.
And we can be this same mechanism of discernment to those around us. In many studies performed, overwhelmingly the results have shown that peers possess the most accurate picture of us as they witness our highs, lows, and steady state. It follows then that we know our friends, family, and coworkers best and therefore possess the highest quality feedback. Sadly however, we often keep this feedback to ourselves or share it as a form of gossip with other friends. We can change that.
You are better positioned than anyone to influence at least one person in your life, and they need you. They need someone to provide them real feedback in love to help them better achieve. Who are you going to reach out to this week?