“How bad does it look?”
This is a question we frequently ask and answer because it is of paramount importance in our lives. For we are often more concerned with how bad something looks, than how bad something really is. We can effectively mask the pain so along as the physical damage is minimally grotesque.
This characteristic of human nature regarding appearances is pervasive beyond our injuries. We make sure to say hi to a certain people at social gatherings, we post a picture and caption it perfectly regardless of actual circumstances, we clean our homes before any guests visit, and we ensure to adhere to the appropriate dress code. For appearances have a profound impact on our decision making.
Through middle school I wore braces to straighten my teeth. They were effective and produced their intended effect, but I couldn’t wait to get them off. I remember the day they were finally removed. I was elated and couldn’t wait to show everyone my new smile. However, the orthodontist produced a retainer and instructed me to wear it daily for the next year plus in order to maintain the adjustments. Sadly, I failed to heed that advice and galvanize the investment my parents had made in my smile. I chose temporary appearance over long-term change.
Yet, in spite of our relentless efforts to create and maintain an appearance, the only person we may effectively convince is ourself. As we have all undoubtedly experienced, appearances can be deceiving and are hardly worth the effort we invest in them. Solomon succinctly captures it in Proverbs 21:
“We justify our actions by appearances;
God examines our motives.”
What we do for the sake of appearances is ultimately unsustainable. We may mask an issue or shortcoming for a time period but it typically results in an even worse situation. And the most disappointing truth is the one whose judgement truly matters pays attention not to the version of reality we are promulgating, but reality itself. And, as Solomon points out, goes another step deeper to analyze our motives.
What this all means is that we need to shift how we hold ourselves accountable. Few people know or can deduce our true motives, therefore we must better know and assess ourselves. And perhaps we could reinvest some of our misspent appearance energy into actually becoming the person we want others to see us as.
What ‘appearance’ have you been maintaining? Only you and God may know, but that may be all that matters. Perhaps this week we all can identify a facade we are ready to let go, and thereby allow us live more free and honest.