Those we spend our time with possess a supreme impact on our perceptions, attitudes, and ultimately actions.
For as much as we desire to be seen as unique and independent, we are always consciously and subconsciously adapting to conform to our environment. We witness this phenomenon in action when we return home and suddenly reacquire a drawl or accent that elsewhere had been absent. We see it in our vocabulary, suddenly matching that of our erudite fellows or falling to that of our cool bros. And often we notice it when we seem to wear the same thing as our coworkers both in and out of the office. We are constantly striving to be accepted by our tribe.
However, the impact goes far deeper than our appearance and inflection. For those close to us also shape our perspective and validate proper and improper thoughts and actions. Their tacit approval serving as a trump card in many situations. Therefore, Solomon encourages us to be discerning and choose carefully our influencers:
“So—join the company of good men and women,
keep your feet on the tried and true paths.
It’s the men who walk straight who will settle this land,
the women with integrity who will last here.
The corrupt will lose their lives;
the dishonest will be gone for good.”
If we are willing to accept that people near us have a significant impact on us, then we should at minimum be conscious of them, and better still actively select them. While the changes may be imperceptible to us, we are slowly becoming more like those individuals daily. We must ask ourselves if the people closest us accurately represent the person we aspire to become.
Assuredly there are influencers that cannot removed (your boss, kids, etc.), but there are likely others who could be divested of or minimized. And still others that could replace them with a much more positive impact. We don't need to cast out all our friends for their flaws, but we do need to understand the what we are choosing to overlook in them so we too don't fall astray. Who we are at a fundamental level is simply too important to be left to chance.
Jesus chose his disciples, it wasn't just a random smattering. He interacted with a multitude of people daily, but at the end of the day, those he wound down with, those he debriefed his thoughts with, those who encouraged him were a group of his own design. I pray that we all might be able to identify and enjoy such positive partnership.