It's almost too easy...
We can readily identify the issues with other people and have no problem complaining about their lack of, or over commitment to, action. It almost seems natural that our conversations eventually devolve into scathing reviews of someone not present. We tell ourselves it is cathartic, that we just need to vent, that they are just words. But all of it seems more an excuse than a true justification. We may leave such conversations buoyed with self-esteem, but at what cost?
In this, the final Chapter of James we are offered a perspective on this topic we could all benefit from emulating:
“Friends, don’t complain about each other. A far greater complaint could be lodged against you, you know. The Judge is standing just around the corner.”
We are all flawed, that's a given. Each of us fails to live up to the ideal in at least one area of our lives. In fact recognition of our flawed state leads us to seek salvation, to desire for our errs to be overlooked. (Absent that recognition we are sociopaths.) How hypocritical then are we when we judge others without them present, and do so not to help them address a trouble spot but to raise ourselves up?
I qualify this by saying that James is by no means telling us not to judge and rebuke people. We assuredly owe that to the people we love. However, complaining about them to others is a wholly different story. There is a clear distinction that must be made. I think the fundamental question you have to ask is, for whose benefit am I saying these things? Mine or the person in the subject line? And how would I feel if I were on the other end of this conversation?
The message is assuredly apropos for me. I find myself engaging in this manner of activity more often than I would like to admit. People frustrate and disappoint us, they always will, we can't control that. We can however control our perspective and reaction. We can break the self-perpetuating loop. My desire is that I might capitalize on my limited interactions with others and choose to build them up, vice break them down.
Have a great week and be sure to share with a friend.
- the contrary disciple