Do you have an underlying objective in your interaction with others?
Whether acknowledged or not, we almost always do. It can span a wide range: to share a passion, to gauge interest, to win them over, to win period. Sadly though, often it seems our goal is to bring others down. To catch them in an ‘ah-ha’ moment or generate a sarcastic retort. We errantly view interaction as a zero sum game in which others must lose in order to bring ourselves up. What results is a cautious and suspicious culture that maintains a buffer of several layers between themselves and the rest of the world.
Where does this get us though? Is it really where we want to be?
“Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.”
This verse struck me this week. For I often use my speech as a tool or weapon that I mean to win with. In attempting to ‘win’ the interaction/engagement/argument, my method it seems is to exhibit the best in myself while exposing my partners, or even worse, a non-present third parties flaws. In fact, I may listen to them only long enough to identify an incongruency to exploit.
What if we instead ascribed to the mandate in the verse? What if we were all attempting to lift each other up in conversation? How pleasant a world we might find ourselves in. And how encouraged and empowered we all might individually and collectively become. I know I certainly have ample room for growth in this area.
This week I encourage you to experiment with bringing out the best in people in your conversations this week. What a positive and encouraging place we might find arrive at. For communication is not a zero sum game and ample space remains for both parties to thrive.