We love to point out errors.
For we experience superiority in identifying the failures of others.
And it ranges broadly from typos, to sports, to our spouses. We see an apparent mistake by someone else (regardless of our own action or inaction) and simply must address it. While human nature may allow us to readily overlook our own flaws, it compels us to highlight those of others.
This compulsion is not all bad. For in life there are plenty of absolutes, and we must be able to properly identify and respect them as such. Failure to do so can have dire consequences. NASA, for example, lost $125 million on a Mars Orbiter due to a unit conversion error when it crashed into the red planet. A wholly avoidable error that should have been identified.
However, the story does not end at the mere identification. For life is a game of people, and these issues are ultimately connected to a person or several persons. Therefore, how we navigate the aftermath is often times more consequential than the error itself. For in that moment we clearly message to not only the person who err’d, but all those on the peripheral as well. Sometimes a cancer must be removed, but more often the mistake needs to be addressed and a degree of grace must be applied, lest destruction of the individual or team is the goal.
“Now is the time to forgive this man and help him back on his feet. If all you do is pour on the guilt, you could very well drown him in it. My counsel now is to pour on the love.”
Reconciliation, not rightness, should be the true focus of our corrections and engagements (and even our relationships in general) . For it takes far more courage to show love and forgive, than it does to blame and shame. More importantly, the maturity a reconciliation-based response brings with it sets the tone for future engagements you may or may not be present for.
This isn’t to shirk or diminish accountability. For accountability is the critical first step in the process, but to outline what comes next. Ultimately, we too can, and will continue to, fail. Mistakes are a part of life. And we don’t want to foster a zero-defect environment because risk is requisite in any great endeavor. Therefore, we must closely meter our response to ensure we do not stymie the very culture we intend to create.
We will all make mistakes. This does not mean we ignore them, but it does mean we should show grace in the aftermath. Accountability is important, but the learning opportunity gained from grace is significant and must be considered. Maybe it is time we stop piling on and simply say, “enough.”