We like to think we empathize with people.
That we feel and appreciate the gravity of the burdens they face.
We use a myriad of phrases to describe our connections to folks in their difficult moments: “I’m with you”, “I feel you”, and “my heart breaks for you.” They all sound right, but how much are we really affected?
I would submit we are affected in direct correlation to the care and concern we have put into people prior to, coupled with the degree to which we can put ourselves in their place.
Accordingly, traumatic experiences such as loss typically trigger a strong empathetic response in us. However, there are other experiences where we are confused at best in how to appropriately respond. When someone sins for example, I am mildly disappointed, but I’m frankly not that impacted unless it directly affects my life. Typically I respond with something drab like, ‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ and generally move on. How should I respond though? How should someone’s failure to live up to the standard set forth make me feel?
“When someone gets to the end of his rope, I feel the desperation in my bones. When someone is duped into sin, an angry fire burns in my gut.”
At work it is easy for me to recognize, champion, and enforce the standard. When someone fails to meet it, I am frustrated and have minimal issue confronting them on the topic. However, outside of work, and specifically in regards to to sin, it begins to get murky for me. Resultantly, my approach softens and I find myself inclined to remain on the periphery to avoid upsetting or condemning them; or honestly, making myself feel uncomfortable.
Yet, I can agree with the writer of the verse that we should care deeply for the lives of those around us, and not just for their physical or emotional wellbeing, but for the state of their souls as well. We should hurt for them when they fail to live up to the standard, and be angry when they are misled.
For me at least, I think the challenge is perspective. For I am very adept at focusing on and caring for myself, and accordingly trace almost everything back that direction. The events that personally affect me are acutely felt, but others are sloughed off. My selfishness serving as a self-imposed limit to my empathy and impact.
Maybe it is time to rethink my approach. Instead of constantly bringing everything back to me, I can begin to explore a life and perspective with other people at the center. A moment of being personally uncomfortable is more than worth someone else’s eternity.