We live in an increasingly transactional world.
We buy things online and have them shipped to our homes without having to interact with a single human being. We check ourselves out of nearly every store and hope our Uber driver isn’t too chatty. We simply want, what we want, when we want it. And we aren't keen on sacrificing our precious time and energy on the people who provide those services. We dictate our desires and then rate them based solely on their ability to complete them.
Troublingly this trend has extended to the way in which we impart advice. We are all too comfortable arm-chair quarterbacking peoples decisions without establishing a requisite level of a relationship or understanding of their particulars. We assume ourselves the final authority, disregard any circumstances that cloud the situation, and level sweeping judgments on all who might walk a path divergent from our own.
“We weren’t aloof with you. We took you just as you were. We were never patronizing, never condescending, but we cared for you the way a mother cares for her children. We loved you dearly. Not content to just pass on the Message, we wanted to give you our hearts. And we did.”
What Paul describes above are actions in stark contrast to the attitude of today. His contrary strategy was to come alongside people just as they were and care for them, vice arriving and convicting them. He sought relationship, not just transference of knowledge. And isn’t that when we’ve taken the most away from someone? When we have truly connected with them.
For what we need most isn’t someone else to tell us where we err or how we could do better, we recognize the majority of those problem areas. What we need is someone to come alongside and love us. Someone to take the time to try to truly understand us. For we are all flawed humans in need of each other.
Is there anyone you have grown exhausted in trying to provide advice to? A friend, a child, a spouse? Maybe it is time to change your approach. Maybe a does of love and understanding is what they truly need.