In this challenging period it is easy to get lost in thought and allow ourselves to become a victim.
Life is different than it once was, and that difference adds stress to our lives. Furthermore, this difference has manifested in additional time to ruminate. Stress coupled with rumination is a sure recipe for discontentment if unchecked.
The first place this discontentment comes out in is our thoughts. As we replay our days we ask why people weren’t more considerate or thoughtful. We start to think we won't ever be put first. We start to become suspect of others’ intentions and jaded by even perceived slights. Worse still, these thoughts materialize in our interactions, only accelerating the negative spiral. In short order we fall wholly victim to ourselves and heap blame on those in our proximity, continually misdiagnosing the source of our poor attitude as others.
The truth is we are responsible. This is at once crushing and hopeful. Crushing because we can’t assign the blame externally (which is both simpler and more palatable), but hopeful because if we own it, then we can effect it. For we can be the necessary accelerant by choosing an alternate attitude:
When I feel taken advantage of, I rarely think about it as an opportunity to ‘practice the servant life.’ Instead, I mark another tally on the eternal scoreboard of the world vs. me. In doing so, I justify myself in being disappointed, frustrated, or angry and errantly place the locus of control firmly in the external, making myself the victim. But I can not control that which is outside myself, so until I accept my culpability and thereby rescind my victim status, I can’t progress.
Now, we aren’t surprised to hear Jesus telling us to forego the tit-for-tat. In fact, it is something most of us heard repeated throughout adolescence. And it rings true because we have all still chosen to wade into various tit-for-tat battles, only to emerge worse for wear. But He doesn’t stop there. In true Jesus form, he encourages us to take an even bolder step and embody the change we are hoping for in those around:
There is plenty I wish my coworkers, family, and friends would do to support me at times. But as I consider it from their lens, they likely have the same hunger pangs for desires left unfulfilled. Ultimately, even in this season of isolation we still need each other. To experience the closeness we require, we must shed our feelings of victimhood and seek to meet the needs of others. In doing so we might just find joy and contentedness ourselves.